How To Know If You’re On The Right Path.

“Understand that the right to choose your own path is a sacred privilege. Use it. Dwell in possibility.” – Oprah.

If I were to ask you right now if you believe that you are treading down the right path, would you be able to answer confidently? Or is this a question that you’ve never even pondered before? “The right path?” you laugh “Is there such a thing, I’m just doing what I can to get through the day!” But in truth, this thought has crossed the mind of every individual at some point, whether you chose to acknowledge the thought, or pushed it aside. Ultimately, we want to be headed somewhere in our lives. We want to know that the daily ‘grind’, our actions, our beliefs, our stories; they stand for something. And that one day, we will arrive at a point in time where we can say to ourselves “This is it, this is where I was heading.” We get to choose where we are heading. Sure life can throw in some obstables, as we know, uncertainty is the only certainty in life. But we are in charge of our actions, our decisions, our desires, and our direction. When you find yourself at a destination, you’ll hope that the path you walked along was the right one, beckoning you to where you wanted to be. Alternatively, you may have wondered too far down the wrong path, without re-direction along the way, and ended up in the last place you desired to be.

Often we don’t know what path we want to walk down, because we feel directionless. A person that feels directionless has more often than not neglected to find their purpose. When you find something that you are deeply passionate about, whether that be sport, teaching, music, creating, photography, writing, singing, lifting weights, helping others, the list goes on; you than have a pretty clear hint at what it is that you should be pursuing. When we pursue or passions, we are headed down the right path. We have a choice, always, where we walk. But the question still begs; “I’m walking, but how do I know if I’m heading in the right direction?”

Here are 10 little ‘nudges‘ that you are on the right path.

1. You are in the ‘Flow”
   You are lit-up, excited and motivated. Though a sense of fear lurks in the background, your heightened energy squashes it. You are filled with passion. You leap out of bed in the morning. Ideas fly at you from all directions. You can see possibilities, you can see potential. You are formulating or have already created clear plans and visions, and you are ready to dive into them.
2. You Lose Track of Time
   When you are in the flow, time disappears. You are so engrossed in what you are doing that you lose all sense of time. Minutes and hours pass, in what feels like seconds. You aren’t painstakingly watching the clock. It is easy to lose whole hours when you are in the flow, and time never feels wasted.
3. You Feel Tired, But Not “Over-Worked”
   There is a clear distinction you feel between being exhausted, and being tired but fulfilled. Even if you have a big workload, you don’t feel overwhelmed in a negative sense. Your large workload fuels your drive, rather than wearing you down.
4. You Are Acting In Alignment With Your Values and Beliefs
   Your purpose or passion does not challenge your core values or beliefs in any way. You are taking action in a way that aligns with your goals, that align with your values and beliefs, and your sense of identity. When you are in alignment, you seem to attract all of the right people, situations and circumstances. Everything is lining up for you.
5. You Attract Supportive Relationships
   From a place of alignment, the Law of Attraction is working to bring all of the things you want and need into your reality. This is felt strongly in your friendship circles. You are attracting the company of like minded people that are uplifting and supportive of you. These are people that cheer you on, celebrate you’re wins with you, and that have a similar set of values as you.
6. You Have The Will To Overcome Obstacles
   When issues arise, they don’t defeat you. You have a drive and a confidence in you that assures you that your passion and purpose is worth fighting for, and you will do whatever it takes to overcome obstacles. Often you come out better for the experience.
7. You No Longer Seek Validation or Approval From Others
   You are doing your own thing. You are only concerned about doing your own thing. You don’t care what others are doing or not doing, you are solely focused on your own path. The criticism of others no longer gets to you, as you recognise that everyone is unique and that’s what makes life diverse. The only approval you seek is that of your own.
8. Your Health Is Improved
   When you are in the flow, focused on the things that light you up, you tend to not only lower your levels of ‘bad’ stress, such as cortisol, but you also tend to take better care of yourself through your habits and actions. You feel happier, therefore you rely less on junk food for that dopamine hit. You are full of energy, so you are more likely to go for that afternoon walk. You feel confident, in turn reducing your anxiety; which in turn reduces your blood pressure, and sends your body into a more relaxed state.
9. You Feel Inspired, Rather Than Jealous
   When you see others treading the same path as yours, you feel inspired and motivated. You are not only happy for these people, but you start seeing them as mentors, mimicking their routines and behaviours as they exhibit the same goals values and passion as your own. You seek guidance and mentorship rather than feeling inadequate and bitter.
10. You Simply Have a “Gut Feeling”
    That knowing. That feeling in your Being. You know ‘know‘. Call it intuition. Our body has a way of communicating with us that we cannot understand in any other description other than that of a sense of deep knowing and assurance. You just ‘know’ with every part of you, that this is the path to pursue. We all have an inner guidance system, and if you feel called to follow it, listen.

When we doubt ourselves, we immediately shut down and dismiss our potential. When questioning our path, we need to look within ourselves for answers. Only you will know what the right path is for you. What is right for one, may not be right for you. It is up to you; not your friends, your family, your peers, colleagues, religious institutions or societal expectations. The world needs your uniqueness. Don’t let fear stop you from pursuing your passion. Remember, if it is never started, it will never be finished. Don’t live with regrets. Find your purpose, and walk the path with it.

How I Manifested My Dream Car

Okay, hang on a minute. You’re telling me that in order to ‘manifest’ my dream life, I only need to remain solely focused upon what I want, be happy in its absence, knowing that I will get it, then it will be mine? This sounds way too good to be true.

This was my thought process the first time I heard of manifestation and the Law of Attraction three years ago. I’ve always been a closet nerd and when I hear or learn about something new, I want to know everything about it. But when I first heard of manifestation, I truly thought it sounded a bit too woo-woo for me. However, it got my attention and the more I read, researched, rationalised, and investigated the science behind it, I was hooked. It all made sense. I became obsessed with learning from teachers such as Dr Joe Dispenza, Wallace D Wattles, Napoleon Hill, Bob Proctor, Esther Hicks, Tony Robbins, Bruce Lipton; the list goes on and on. I read and watched everything I could, and I got very excited. Here was the belief factor that plays the most important role with manifestation. If you want to manifest, you have to believe in manifestation, or a higher power, and that it will work for you; other wise your resistance to it will block it every time.

At this point, I was really devling into this new world that I was discovering. I sat down and thought about exactly what it was that I wanted to bring into my life. I had a vision, and it went straight onto my vision board. But I really wanted something measurable, to test this manifestation claim. And so I pinned the picture of my dream car smack bang into the middle of my vision board. Along with the rest of the stereotypical female population, I had always dreamt of owning a white Range Rover. I know, so original, but can you blame me? At this time, I already had a car that I loved, so I thought it was a bit obnoxious of me to put this on my vision board, but it was something I have always wanted and something physical that could prove or disprove this theory that I was learning about. The thing was about this desire was, I was already happy. Getting a Range Rover wouldn’t make me happy, I already was. Its just a car. My happiness was internal. It wasn’t dependant on manifesting my dream car. And so I was not attached to the outcome.

As I had been learning, our resistance and control is detrimental to the process of manifestation. And so I let go of any resistance to everything on my vision board, including the car. I focused on my point of vibration, visualised, practised gratitude for everything that I had and everything that I knew was coming to me, and carried on living. When I was driving, I was so grateful for my car and my freedom. As I would drive to work, I saw Range Rover after Range Rover (Well played, Universe) and instead of thinking “Wow, I wish I had one of those, I wish I could afford one!” I would get so excited. A huge smile would cross my face and I would say “Thank you thank you thank you!” Somehow, though I had no idea how, I knew I would have one. I didn’t know when, and frankly I didn’t care. It just felt so good to be excited and happy every time I saw one. Funnily enough, I was feeling grateful about having something that I didn’t even have. Woo-Woo, I know.

One Saturday about 4 months after I had made my first vision board, feeling the happiest and most alive I had in forever (mindset truely is everything people), my husband mentioned that we should go for a day trip and get for some ice-cream from my favourite ice-cream shop about 45 minutes away. Two things crossed my mind; day trips are my favourite, not so much his, and I love ice-cream, not so much him. But I really didn’t question it because it sounded great, and if he was delirious I was going to take full advantage. So we got dressed, and off we went. To say that I am bad with directions is an understatement, and considering this ice-cream shop is 45 minutes from our house, I had already lost attention to where we were about 20 minutes into the drive. As we were driving I noticed that the road we were on, is full of car dealerships. Weird, I thought, he must be going a different way. “I just want to pull in here for a second” he said looking at me, as I was looking at the car dealership to the right of us. “Nooo” I protested, seeing the ice-cream in my mind slipping further away. “And we are not looking at cars right now, we don’t need a new car.” As soon as I said it, it felt wrong. Wasn’t I in the process of manifesting a new car!?

We pull in, and inside the dealership, through the floor to ceiling glass building, I see it. The Range Rover from my vision board. Not just a Range Rover, the EXACT Range Rover from my vision board. White, with a Black sky roof, in all of its beautiful, stereotypical female glory. That little thought popped back up in my head “Ugh its so beautiful, but I can’t have it yet, I haven’t had the answer on how it’s going to be mine. Isn’t the Universe just supposed to drop this in my lap?” I looked at my husband, and laughed. “We’re not buying this you know?” He looked at me mischievously and said, “I thought we could just have a look, you can visualise it better now.” I knew what he was doing. My husband is the risk taker, the one that acts before thinking, and too his credit, this usually works for him, and is the reason we have such fun together. But this time, I was going to stand my ground. “I’ll look, but I’m not driving it!”

5 minutes later, I’m pulling out of the car dealership, test driving the car of my dreams. “I’ll give it a drive” I finally agreed to the salesman, “But we’re not buying it.” I couldn’t believe that we went out for ice cream and now 45 minutes later I’m driving around in a Range Rover? Everything inside was so beautiful. I looked at the steering wheel with its Range Rover badge, and the Land Rover logo that shone on the dashboard and screen. The sun blaring over-head through the huge sky roof. The smell of leather seats. The details. Ugh it was so beautiful. ‘This is going to great for my visualisations’ I thought. I wasn’t even upset by the fact that I clearly wasn’t going to buy this car. I was grateful that I got the chance to drive it, and that my visualisations were going to be taken to the next level.

When we pulled back into the dealership I returned the keys back to the salesman and thanked him for letting me drive it. The boys looked at each other and my husband so casually turned to me and said “Okay, so lets sign the paperwork then”. They both looked at me, knowing what my response would be. This is crazy, I can’t afford this car! I thought. And then BAM! I had a breakthrough. Those limiting beliefs rang so loudly in my head that I was able to catch them right away. I can’t? I CAN. And we always make things work. My husband knew this, and that’s why he bought us here. Something felt so right about this. I honestly had no idea how we’d do it, but I just knew we would. “Adam, we need to talk about this. Not today, we’ll think about it.” The salesman looked at me and said, “What car do you drive?” He explained that with a trade-in on my car and the lowered interest rates (Due to COVID) that we could in fact afford a car like this, and that this opportunity was too good not to at least look in to. So we looked into it, right then and there.

I signed my name on the dotted line. 02/02/2020. I remember it so vividly, because even though it is just a car, it is something I have wanted my whole life. I genuinely could not believe we were doing this, a million thoughts flew through my mind. Will we be able to afford this? Did I just make a huge mistake? No, no, no, Ria. Trust. Trust. Trust.

All the nerves melted away when the paperwork was signed, and the salesman told us we could pick up our car in 3 days. That was enough time for the official paperwork to be completed, and for the official finance approval to come through. We both walked out of the dealership like giddy teenagers, looking at each other and just giggling. I got back into our car, and looked at my husband. “What the f*&%” I laughed. I could not believe we had just done that. Funny looking ice-cream!

Needless to say, in a state of nerves and disbelief, we skipped the ice-cream and instead went straight to the pub. I needed a wine to celebrate and soothe my mind. I had just rang my mum. “Mum, I can’t believe it, WE JUST BOUGHT A RANGE ROVER!” My mum was so excited for me, and bought me back down to earth. She was so supportive of the decision and her vote of confidence had me feeling better. But as happy as I was, I still couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe we just dug ourselves in a bit too deep financially. Over wine, we chatted about the decision, and an idea popped into my head. If I could just change my work shift by starting an hour later, and finishing an hour later, I would be saving the same amount of money in Before-School Care Fees, as the new car payment would be. It was something I had been thinking about long before the prospect of a new car, as I wanted so badly to be able to walk my children into school every day. I knew that it would work with my job, I was just so rooted in routine that I never asked. “Maybe its time to ask? What do we have to lose?” I pondered.

Two days later, I had a meeting with my boss and put the question to her. To my surprise, she was totally on board, and told me that we could try it right away. I was so grateful to her, and assured her that we’d make it work. It worked. Not only was I now able to drop off and pick up my kids from school, which I’d been longing to do for the past 6 years, I literally just had my car payment! My dream car would technically not be costing me a dime! I was so used to paying for childcare, we didn’t even notice it coming out of our bank account. I couldn’t believe that one simple decision, one question, was the answer! I was kicking myself for not doing it earlier.

I rang my husband to tell him the exciting news. He laughed as I told him, and explained to me that he’d just had a call from our banking manager, to inform him that due to COVID, interest rates were plummeting, and we can remortgage our home loan, to save nearly $500 a month. I could not believe it. Not only did we have our car payment already, we were going to be SAVING over $500 a month.!?

I knew this was all happening because I trusted it would. I never pushed getting this car, I never tried to control the circumstance in which it came around, I never tried to rush it, or force it. It came organically, and while it didn’t technically just land in my drive-way, it really did present itself to me. I made the decision, trusting in my vision, and my newly adopted beliefs, and left the rest to the Universe (Woo-woo, I know). Initially I didn’t know how we’d afford it, I didn’t push or try to control how. I released resistance, and answers literally came to me. The decision in that dealership to trust, led us here. If I let my limiting beliefs over-power me that day, and didn’t take the risk, my dream car would have been snapped up by someone else, and I would still be dropping my children to Before-School care every morning, paying huge fees and missing out on being able to walk them into class myself. I’d of been carrying on as normal.

Three days passed and we pulled into the dealership. I was in genuine disbelief, and so nervous. My nerves quickly melted away when I saw our salesman, his face excited and cheerful. “Everything is ready to go”
I once again signed my name on the dotted line, but this time a key was placed in my hand at the end of it. “Range Rover” it said. It’s mine. I have my dream car. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I pulled out of the dealership, in my dream white Range Rover, with my husband sitting next to me, his hand on my lap, and my two beautiful boys safely in the backseat. Thank you thank you thank you. My body was literally vibrating with joy and gratitude. And in that moment, I knew I’d never question manifestation.

“Eliminate doubt and replace it with the full expectation that you will receive what you are asking for.”
Rhonda Byrne

The Law of Vibration and How to Raise Your Vibe.

As human beings we are made up of different energies. In fact, everything in our Universe is essentially made up of the same matter, from a human being, to a rock. Every thing that we are able to see, and everything that we can not, is energy. The Law of Vibration states that everything in the Universe is made up of energy, which is in a constant state of movement. The movement of energy is referred to as vibration, and the rate of speed of vibration is called frequency. Vibrations operate at both high and low frequencies. If everything in the universe is made from atoms, of which 99.9% is empty space; energy, and we as humans; made up of atoms, are essentially 99.9% empty space; we are almost pure energy – pure consciousness. Not only are our physical bodies energy, but our thoughts are too. Every thought that we think has its own vibrational frequency, depending upon the thought and its corresponding emotion. It is these thoughts and feelings that control the state of our physical and mental wellbeing. As humans, we often refer these as ‘vibes’. If you are feeling high or good vibes, you are feeling joyful, energetic, creative, and clear – while low or bad vibes can have you feeling dark, heavy, depressed, confused, anxious or unmotivated. Our frequency is the energy that we put out into the Universe, and as the Law of Attraction simply states, what we put out comes back to us. It makes sense then, that if your vibes remain low over an extended period of time, it will begin to manifest into your experience in the form of poor health, bad luck, misfortune, lack and dissatisfaction. If good vibes however are your predominant point of attraction, you will invite abundance, prosperity, opportunity, inspiration ease and flow into your experience. As thinking conscious beings, we are able to dictate our frequency by choosing and directing our thoughts, which in turn dictates our actions, responses and perceptions. Here are some simple ways to raise your vibes and start attracting the life experience you desire.

BE AWARE OF YOUR THOUGHTS
Our thoughts are energy, and our energy is what is projected and reflected back to us. Be mindful of our thoughts, and stay positive. Use affirmations and positive self talk. Push through your fears and limiting beliefs and adopt an attitude of faith. Change your narrative.
(See Limiting Beliefs and How to Overcome Them, and How You Talk to Yourself Matters for more)

PRACTISE GRATITUDE
Practising gratitude is one of the easiest and quickest ways to raise your vibe. By reflecting on and appreciating what you already have, you invite more to be grateful for into your experience. Feeling gratitude brings you into the present, and allows you to feel joy and appreciation for where you are at, right now. By remembering all of the good that we have, we give more energy to our blessings than our burdens.

EAT HIGH VIBE FOODS
As everything is made of the same matter, even the food that we eat has its own frequency. Eating processed, nutrient poor foods, your vibration will be reduced, leaving you feeling tired and sluggish. On the other hand, nutrient-dense, balanced natural foods, with a high vibration, will raise yours. You will feel lighter, happier and more energetic. Some high vibe foods include green leafy vegetables, fresh fruits, herbs, spices, beans, legumes, seeds, teas, and fermented foods.

HYDRATE
Staying hydrated is so important for the functioning of the human body. Not only is water itself a form of life energy, and essential for survival, it is also essential for keeping energy circulating around the body. As the body is 75% water, keeping hydrated is responsible for flushing out toxins, leading to increased happiness, health and vitality.

MEDITATION
Meditation allows us to get into a state of relaxation where we are able to let go of resistance. Disconnecting from our physical sense of self and connecting to our higher self, our energetic being; consciousness, we instantly raise our vibration. Meditating calms the nervous system and plants us right in the now. Taking our attention off of the past and the future and remaining in the present raises our awareness and in turn, increases our vibration.

BE OF SERVICE
Selfishness is a sure way to lower your vibration. Acting out of lack, greed, or attention, ultimately ends up making you feel less than fulfilled. When we are able to be of service to another however, acting with kindness, generosity and love, from a place of abundance and selflessness, we feel a sense of joy, gratitude, and satisfaction. It is often us that feels better than the person we may have even helped!

SMILE
When we don’t feel like smiling, its the most important time to smile. The act of smiling triggers a response from the brain, signalling that we are happy. Our brain releases dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and molecules called neuropeptides that literally fight off stress. So even if a smile is forced, it can still boost your mood and raise your vibration.

GET OUT INTO NATURE
Connecting with nature is one of the most beautiful ways that we can raise our vibe. Mother nature is abundant energy. Getting into nature makes us feel more connected to our world and contributes positively to our physical wellbeing. Being in nature can reduce tension and the production of stress hormones, instantly increasing our vibration.

MOVE YOUR BODY
Get moving. When we move our bodies, our body releases endorphins which boost our mood. This can be in any form that feels good to you, be it lifting weights in a gym, doing a yoga flow, walking your dog, or dancing around your kitchen.

LOVE
Love is the highest frequency emotion. When we feel love, we are vibrating rapidly. Even when we can think of something or somebody that we love, this simple act of recollection and visualisation is enough to invoke the feeling of love, in turn raising our vibration to the highest of frequencies.

BREATHE
It is estimated that humans are only breathing to one third of our lung capacity, and yet we wonder why our bodies are not functioning optimally. Simply by becoming aware of our breath and breathing fuller and deeper, we increase the oxygen in our bodies and calm our nervous systems. This increased sense of relaxation will in turn increase our vibration.

REDUCE TOXINS
As with high and low vibrational foods, we are also able to reduce toxins in our body, which will in turn increase our vibration. Reducing toxins in our body can be as simple as increasing our water and reducing or avoiding alcohol, which lowers our vibration.

FILTER YOUR CONSUMPTION
Are you aware of the information that you are allowing to filter through your mind? Being aware of what we are consuming is so important to our overall wellbeing. Take some time off of social media, unfollow people that don’t inspire or uplift you, watch motivational videos, watch uplifting movies, read philosophy or study the biographies and stories of the people the you admire the most.

“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but to get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.”
Albert Einstein

How You Talk to Yourself, Matters.

Self talk is the internal narrative that we tell about ourselves. It is the inner dialogue that shapes the ideas and beliefs that we hold on to about ourselves. Have you ever really thought about the things that you say to yourself? Not listened, not witnessed, but really thought. What is it that you are telling yourself? What is it that you are believing about yourself? Then ask, two of the most important questions you can ask of yourself;

Is my self-talk empowering, or destroying me?

Would I say these things to somebody else I care about?

Often we reserve our love, encouragement, support, and belief for others. We watch closely the lives of others, and we form our own judgements and assessments on these people, based on our own reflections of ourselves. Are you jealous of somebody? Inspired? Angered? Any reaction that is sparked in us from another is truly a reflection of our inner most thoughts, feelings and desires. And what brings us to these thoughts, feelings and desires? What is it that encourages or destroys these desires, these feelings? Our self-talk. We often see in others the things that we lack or desire for ourselves, and this can be either a blessing; inspiring change, motivation, ideas, actions – or a curse; sending us into a spiral of self criticism, dwelling on all of the things that we don’t have and justifying all of the excuses we tell ourselves for why we don’t have them.

Here is where our self-talk comes into play. Think about it – you wake up in the morning with the attitude that life is hard; I promise you, you’re day will be reflected to you in that way. You will be stuck in traffic, or late, or spill your coffee, you’ll have disagreements with others and things will get to you. Or, you wake up with a sense of joy, gratitude, love and commitment, and your day will be reflected back to you in this way. You might still get stuck in traffic, you might still spill your coffee, someone may disagree with you, but it won’t bother you.

Its the same with our self-talk. Whatever you tell yourself over and over again is what you will inevitably believe about yourself. If there is something that you want, that seems hard, or out of reach, and you justify its elusiveness by telling yourself “I am too lazy, I am too dumb, I am too unqualified, I am too broke, I don’t have the time, I don’t have the connections, I wouldn’t know how”… Well guess what: You never will.

If you flip the narrative however, things change. While it might be true, right now in this moment, you might not have the time. But you’ll make it. “I am creating time” is more powerful than “I don’t have it.” You’ll prioritise; you’ll wake up earlier, you’ll take small, consistent steps, you’ll time block. You’ll make it work. You might not know how, but if you believe and commit, putting one foot in front of the other, you’ll be further than you were than if you hadn’t started. And in time, the way will be shown to you.

It can feel unnatural to lie to ourselves. If you are broke, telling yourself “I am rich” can feel unauthentic. So flip it and tell yourself, “I am open to receiving financial abundance. I am committed. I am resourceful. I take inspired action toward my goals.” Whatever it might be that feels authentic to you is a step in the right direction.

Our limiting negative self talk is a sentence. We are imprisoned by it. You tell yourself “I am broke”, that’s it; you make it so. You tell yourself “I am in control of my financial choices”; you just gave yourself the key. It is open ended. It is full of possibility. Your words, your choices, and your actions are your freedom.

Empower yourself with your thoughts. Give yourself the same love, belief support, and encouragement that you give to the people that you love. Ultimately, you are the most important person to you. You are the only one that has control over you. We are thinking, feeling beings, and our external lives reflect our internal voices. Give yourself the power to believe in yourself. Living in growth, hope, faith, knowing and expansion, is more fulfilling than resigning yourself to the negative lies that you have been telling about yourself.

It can feel safe, and comfortable, to stay where you are. There is comfort in what you know, its what you’ve always known, its what you’ve always done, and what you’ve always counted on. It can feel easier to remain comfortable where you are, than to step into the discomfort of change, commitment, and effort. But remember, nothing worth having ever came from within your comfort zone.

Change your inner dialogue, and you’ll re-write your narrative.

We Cant Heal What We Don’t Feel

There is a common misconception in the world of self help and spirituality that we are supposed to be happy, positive, mindful and thriving, all the time. 

We equate feelings of happiness, love, joy, motivation and passion with success,
and feelings of sadness, anger, hurt or disappointment with failure.

As human beings we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect. We have adopted the belief that feelings are either good or bad, and connect how we feel with either our successes, or setbacks. In truth, there are no good or bad feelings, there are just feelings. A feeling only becomes negative when it is suppressed, denied the right of expression, or believed as being so. 

When things are going well, we are so quick to express it. We are fuelled by our egos, and when we feel good, we want others to know it. And yet, when we feel bad, we immediately put up a guard. Our egos try to protect us from feelings of hurt,  judgement, or shame. We use so much of our energy trying to deny our negative emotions; pulling our focus away from them, rather than embracing, accepting and releasing them. 

It is okay to have ‘negative’ emotions. We are human beings, having a human experience, living in an ever changing and high pressure society.
Yes, practise self-care and mindfulness, establish healthy habits and routines, and rely on any practises that can help you to cultivate a sense of happiness and wellbeing, but don’t accept that you are a ‘failure’ if you have days where you let these practises slip. Don’t believe that you are inferior for a having a normal response or reaction to an internal or external stimuli. 

it is normal for our emotions to ebb and flow. And while yes, we are responsible for how we choose to respond to triggers and stimuli, the reality of the situation is, we are human. There are going to be days when we feel down, flat, unmotivated, upset, or anxious. Our lives can change in a moment; we could experience a loss, or a trauma, a diagnosis, or a disappointment. Or we could simply just be having an off day.

And that’s okay.

Where we can begin to go wrong with our emotions however, is by suppressing them, and accepting the belief that our negative emotions equate failure, shame, or inferiority.

Feeling sad, angry, impatient, hurt, scared or upset, is JUST as important as feeling happy, excited, motivated and loved.

Our emotions serve us. 

Don’t run from them, don’t fight them.

Face them, and invite them in.

Remember, it is what stays inside of us, that makes us ill.
When we fail to express our emotions, our brain signals a stress response and we enter into a state of ‘flight-or-fight’ mode. Our body uses energy needed elsewhere in our bodies, such as our immune and digestive systems, to deal with the perceived threat that it believes we are experiencing. Our body responds in this state of stress by increasing our blood pressure and heart rate, causing feelings of anxiety and depression, and supresses our immune system leaving us susseptable to illness and disease.

“The opposite of depression, is expression” – Edith Eger

So how can we healthily express our emotions?

Recognise them. Accept them. And Express them.

Recognise what it is you are feeling, feel it, and accept it.
You can even delay your response to your feeling, just remember not to let it go unchecked. For example, if somebody does something that makes you angry or upset in a social situation, it might not be the ideal or appropriate time to start yelling and screaming.

You can say to yourself, “I am feeling angry right now, and that is okay. I accept this feeling, it is a normal response, and I am deciding to sit with it right now.”

Or, let it out! Its okay.

Cry, shout, scream, punch a pillow, throw yourself a pity party!

Just don’t stay there!

That is the key.

Expressing our emotions is a release. And when we release the feelings, we can be free of them. We don’t need to remain imprisoned by our emotions. We don’t need to be bogged down by our own high standards of what we think should and shouldn’t be feeling. Just feel it. Really feel it. Accept it. And let it go.

When we don’t accept, feel, express or release our negative emotions, they begin to take root and become embedded in our being, our subconscious, and our beliefs.

The quicker that we are able to recognise our sadness, fear, anger, or any other low feeling emotion, the quicker can acccpt it, express it, release it, and replace it with higher feeling energies and vibrations that are in alignment with our true selves.

Remember, life is a balance. Take the good with the bad, and be kind to yourself. Stop striving for perfection, and strive for being human.

Conquer Your Morning, Conquer Your Life

“Focused productive successful mornings generate focused productive successful days – which inevitably create a successful life” – Hal Elrod

If you are looking to alter the trajectory of your life, become happier, more productive, less stressed, more pro-active, and less re-active, than you need to create and commit to a tailored and consistent Morning Routine.

Each day we are presented with a new opportunity for living; a clean slate, and we get to decide what we will do with it. We each get to choose who we want to be, how we want to show up, what we want to give, and what we want to experience.

The results that we experience in our current reality are largely shaped by our everyday habits and routines. A routine is simply a set of actions performed regularly. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that all routines are “good” routines, or even conscious; they are simply performed out of habit.

We can choose to use our mornings to help us cultivate growth and success, or we can remain stuck in stagnation. So many of us leave our days to chance, giving no intentional thought or creation to our day. We tend to live life on ‘auto-pilot’ allowing our mood, conditions and outer circumstances to dictate the course of our day. We give away our power and let our day control us, as opposed to us controlling our day.

Creating an intentional morning practise allows us to take back the power of our day, and in turn, our lives. It gives us a sense of purpose, direction and accountability. We can go from unconsciously creating to deliberately creating, enabling us to make decisions that are aligned with our goals and desires.

A morning routine sets us up for our day, allows us to set and align with our intentions, increase focus and productivity, boost our mood, increase positivity, reduces stress, and enable us to be better equipped to handle any stresses and situations that may arise.

There is no one size fits all when it comes to morning routines. They will, and should, look different from person to person. Remember, the best morning routine is one that is tailored to suit you. If a practise feels forced, or like a chore, you will find it hard to commit too. Your morning routine should feel authentic and real for you. It should make you want to jump out of bed in the morning, with a sense of drive, purpose and motivation.

Morning Routine Tips and Practises to Conquer Your Day

Mediation

Mediation quiets the mind and allows us to control the direction of our thoughts. It allows us to focus more clearly on our intentions, promotes mental health, compassion, gratefulness and wellbeing, while reducing the feelings of stress and anxiety. It allows us to tune out distractions and return our true selves.

Visualisation

Visualising our goals increases the likeliness of achieving them. By clearly visualising what it is that we want to achieve, and feeling the feelings of having it now, we signal to our brain to begin working towards making our vision concrete in reality. As our brains cannot distinguish between what is real and what is imagined, it subconsciously works to bring about what is it that we are holding in our vision, and in our vibration, on a consistent basis.

Journaling

My personal favourite and a non-negotiable in my morning practise. There are so many different types and techniques for journaling, though it is essentially the act of getting out our thoughts, feelings, and intentions, goals and/or to-do lists onto paper. It allows us to de-clutter the mind and free up space for the things that serve us.

Gratitude

Practising gratitude in the morning is one of the best ways to cultivate joy and a positive mind set for the day. Expressing gratitude can be done through thought, verbally, or ideally written down in a journal. Cultivating gratitude is one of the best ways to raise your vibration and live more joyfully. Expressing gratitude is a morning practise that I simply cannot go a day without!

Affirmations

Affirmations are uplifting and positive statements that help us to generate confidence and help us to overcome and challenge our limiting beliefs and negative thoughts. By consistently repeating affirmations or mantras, or brain literally re-wires itself and begins accepting these affirmations as fact, which is then reflected into our life experience.

Movement

Moving your body in your morning can help bring about an improved mood as a result of the release of endorphins that exercise causes. It also brings about a sense of accomplishment, getting it completed first thing, instead of spending the day dreading the ‘after work’ work out. It helps us to feel productive and more energised for the day

Read, Listen and Educate

Set aside some time in the morning dedicated to expanding your knowledge and encouraging growth motivation and inspiration. Listen to a podcast, spend some time reading, or listen to an audiobook. Use this time to really focus on your personal growth and self-reflection.

Extra steps for creating a productive and positive morning can include:

Eating a healthy breakfast

Waking up earlier and avoiding the snooze button

Making your bed as soon as you get up

Turning off social media and the news, and remaining present

Practising mindfulness

Getting outdoors, grounding and connecting with nature

Petting your dog (because duh!)

Your morning routine can be as extensive or as simple as you like. It can take as little as 10 minutes or as much as an hour. There is no perfect routine, only the one that feels perfect for you.

Your morning practise should leave you feeling uplifted, focused, calm, grounded and ready to conquer your day with a confident, positive and abundant mindset.

How you show up for your morning, is how you show up for your day, and ultimately how you show up for life. Give as much time and love to yourself as you give to others, and watch your life transform.

Remember, if you win your morning, you win your day, and when you win your days, you win your life.

To learn more about Habits and Routines don’t forget to check out my post: Why Habits and Routines Are Essential For Success.

The Life Changing Power of Gratitude

The power of gratitude cannot be overstated. Its impact is immense, transcending, healing and an essential part of living a happy and fulfilling life. Gratitude is a power that we all have access to, regardless of who you are, where you are, or what you have. It is quick, easy, and doesn’t cost a cent, yet produces the most profound benefits to our health and quality of life. 

So what is gratitude? 

Gratitude is simply the acknowledgement of the good in life. It is the act of appreciating and seeing the value in all things. We waste so much of our lives waiting for something extraordinary to happen before we can express any sense of gratitude; a raise at work, a new job, a new home, a new car, a holiday, receiving a gift, the start of a new relationship or the birth of a child. And on the other hand, we find it near impossible to express any sense of gratitude when we are going through a hard time. Cultivating a sense of gratitude from the smallest of things, to the grandest, from the ups to the downs, means that we leave no room for anything to be taken for granted.

Living in a state of gratitude not only make us feel good, but the act of expressing gratitude itself has been scientifically linked to an array of health benefits including improved physical and mental health, elevated moods, closer relationships, more life satisfaction, enhanced empathy, better sleep, increased self-esteem, strengthened immunity, and the ability to better navigate through and recover from tough times. 

Before all else, simply waking up to a new day is something we should all be giving thanks for, and yet sadly few of us do. We get so caught up in our external environment, our schedules, our egos, and our emotions, that we don’t take the time to feel grateful for all things that we have right now, in this present moment. Every day we let small things go unnoticed, while magnifying our problems and misfortunes. We spend more time complaining about all the things that are going ‘wrong’ then we do appreciating all of the wonderful things that we have. 

Being grateful doesn’t mean that we are ignorant to the problems or emotions that surface in our lives. But it does mean that we are better equipped to shift our focus and perspective from the things that we don’t have, to the things we do. And when we compare our problems to our blessings, we are able to become more grounded, more present and see that our ‘good’ always outweighs our ‘bad’. 

How to Start a Gratitude Practise

Keep a Gratitude Journal
Start a journal that you will commit to writing down a list of things that you are grateful for daily. When you wake up in the morning, write down a list of all the things that you feel grateful for, and before bed write down a list of things that you noticed and appreciated throughout your day. Commit to this simple practise and see for yourself the changes and shift in mood and mindset that it cultivates.

Don’t just write it, feel it
Its important when writing in our gratitude journal that we really feel the feelings of appreciation. Feeling grateful is a sure way to raise our vibration and shift our point of attraction.

Be Mindful
Being mindful is a great way to cultivate gratitude. When we ‘get out’ of our own heads, we give ourselves the opportunity to become more focused in the here and now. We can start to notice and appreciate things that we might normally overlook; a smile from a stranger, the cool breeze and the morning sun, the beauty of nature, or simply the satisfaction of our morning coffee.

Express Gratitude 
When you practise gratitude, you are more likely to feel happier, and in turn be kinder to others, and when you are kind to others, you feel more grateful. And so by expressing gratitude, being kind or courteous, or doing something kind for somebody, we enable the good-feeling cycle to keep going. There is a term “Helpers High” which refers to the production of the ‘feel good’ hormone, dopamine, which is released when we do something kind for another.

Grow from Adversity
Gratitude allows us to shift our perception and therefore allow us to perceive adversity and struggles as not a negative, but a lesson or an opportunity for growth. We are more likely to see the positive in a negative situation when we are adapt at cultivating a sense of gratitude.

Living with gratitude is simply a shift in mindset. It’s an “I get to” instead of “I have too” attitude. It’s seeing the good in all things, big and small. It’s choosing to see lessons in adversity, instead of being a victim. It’s appreciating all of the things that we often take for granted. Its finding joy in simplicity, seeking out pockets of happiness where we would once overlook.

When we can find gratitude in the simplest of moments, we no longer need to live in anticipation of the next big thing to bring us joy, because we can feel it in every single moment, of every single day.

Choose Happiness, Now.

Most of us go through life with the idea that happiness is something that comes to us when we obtain a certain thing; popularity, money, riches, fame, the right job, the sports car, the dream home, the perfect body. It seems that we are always chasing that elusive something:

“WHEN I get _____, THEN I’ll be happy”
“WHEN I am _____, THEN I’ll be happy”
We are always waiting for that certain something to appear in our lives before we give ourselves the permission to be truly happy. We allow our state of being to be at the mercy of our circumstances and give all of our power away to what we believe is out of our hands; fate.

We are living in a world full of instant gratification, living for short term, fleeting happiness, to fuel for our egos, and mask our dissatisfaction. Addictions in all forms, are an extension of this need that we have to gain quick, instant moments of joy, satisfaction, happiness, euphoria. Junk food, exercise, social media, shopping, sex, or tv addictions, as well as drug and alcohol abuse, are all forms of escapism – a way to get happy, quick. But the problem with these habits and addictions is that the ‘happiness’ that we are seeking is always short lived. Until we find a way to obtain real happiness, we’ll continue to sabotage ourselves over and over again. 

Happiness is not only a choice, it’s a commitment. It is something that needs to be worked on, every single day. It is not a result of any outer circumstance. It is not a result of anything, other than our decision, commitment, and mindset. It requires discipline and dedication. But as with anything that requires our attention and commitment, the more we practise, the easier it becomes.

So how do we Choose to be happy?

Live With Intention
Who is it that you want to be in life? What do you want to have be or do? Find your mission, find your purpose, and let it guide you. When you know what you want from life, then you can begin to live intentionally. Decide who you want to be, and start living that life, now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not next year. Now.

Establish A Routine
Develop a routine that sets you up to become that person. Creating healthy habits and routines that aligns with our intentions is one of the best ways to change the way we feel about our lives. These habits and practises can include, but aren’t limited to;

A Gratitude Practise
Begin to see all the good in your experience, and you will quickly discover that we have so much to be grateful for. There are so many benefits to living with a gratitude mindset. Start and end your days by listing at least 3 things that you are grateful for, and really feel into it. It should feel really good. See more of the things that you want and focus less on the things you don’t. Remember, we live in a Universe of abundance, not lack, we just have to choose to see it.

Start Journaling
Journaling can look different for everyone, but may include writing affirmations, intentions, gratitude lists, habit tracking, stream of consciousness or ‘brain dumping’, where we unburden our brain by getting our thoughts out onto paper. 

Meditation
The act of being, not doing. Giving ourselves the time to simply be, invites mental clarity and happiness, and reduces stress and anxiety. We all know the benefits that mediation can have on our wellbeing. 

Positive Thinking
I know, this seems like a pretty obvious one if you want to live more happily. But it can not be under-stated – the power of positive thinking is immense. Catching our negative thoughts are replacing them with thoughts of optimism, joy and gratitude, can and will literally re-wire our brains to respond differently to triggering situations. We will be better equipped to deal with any events in the future that would have otherwise made us angry or upset.

Be Kind
Have you ever heard of “Helpers High”? When you are kind and helpful to others, your body releases endorphins and the happiness hormone, serotonin. These are responsible for the feelings of satisfaction and joy that we feel when we are being of service. Being kind to others is one of the best ways that we can be kind to ourselves. It’s a win win.

Surround Yourself With Happy People
Get honest about the people you spend the majority of your time with. If you are constantly surrounded by negative people, maybe its time to distance yourself. Sure, you can influence others with your new-found happiness, but if they aren’t taking the bait, it might be time to expand your group of friends with people who align with your intentions.

It would be impossible to monitor each of our daily thoughts. It is estimated that the average human being has up to 60,000 thoughts a day, and more shockingly 80% of these are negative. It no wonder that we are all searching for that quick ‘happy’ fix.

Sometimes we feel as though life is something happening to us, that we have no choice in the matter; we are at its mercy. Things happen; stresses, challenges, road blocks and upheavals are all a part of life. We can’t always control our circumstances, but we can decide how we respond, we can decide how we feel. 

Every day we are bombarded with choices, and ultimately most of us make our choices based on our desire to experience the best of our lives. There is no decision we can make for ourselves that is more important than that of choosing to be happy. 

The choice is yours. What will you choose?

The Biggest Block to Manifestation and How You Can Overcome It

We are all familiar with the many of different types of techniques and methods used for manifestation; Affirmations, Visualisation, Vision Boards, and Living “As If”, just to name a few. However, there is often a simple ingredient missing that, in its absence, can make it difficult for the things that we desire to manifest and prolongs their appearance into our reality; that is, if they manifest at all. Before we begin to implement the multitude of incredible tools and techniques for manifestation, we first need to become aware of the most important part of the manifestation equation, and that is:

Believing that we are worthy of receiving

The biggest block to manifestation is that people don’t whole heartedly believe that they are worthy of the things they are wanting to manifest into their lives. Feelings of selfishness, or guilt, or greed, can creep into our minds and have us doubting if we really do want, need or deserve these things. It is exactly these feelings that block our desires from coming to us. If we don’t believe that we are worthy of receiving something, then how can we expect to experience it in our reality? When you begin to manifest your desire, whether it be your dream home, car, a certain figure in your bank account, a particular job, your ideal body or perfect health,  you feel excited and alive. Living those moments in your imagination, feeling the feelings of already having them in your possession, and practising all the things that you’ve learned about manifestation, has you feeling really good. And then, all of a sudden, that tiny little voice in your head breaks through.

 “Hang on a minute, what makes you think you deserve a car like that? Its not like you even need it, your car is perfectly fine as it is! Its selfish to want something so frivolous.” 

Or

“What makes you think you deserve that kind of money in your bank account? Who are you to live that kind of lifestyle? Think of all of those people doing more than you and suffering and yet here you are trying to have more than everyone else? Think of all of those people who don’t have anything at all. What makes you deserve money more than them?” 

And so begins a constant battle with ones self; one step forward, one step back.
You remain stuck.

So then, how do we start believing that we are worthy of receiving, when we simply don’t.

There is a simple way to challenge these limiting beliefs of selfishness, greed, and unworthiness. When you can approach your manifestations with the following in mind, you will see why you are indeed worthy of receiving anything you desire, no matter how big or small. And as you continuously challenge your limiting beliefs, you can literally re-wire your brain for success, and open the doors to receiving what is it you desire.
So here we go. Just for a moment, forget all that you know about the ‘how to’s ‘of manifestation, and just let this following line sink in:

Our greatest purpose in life is to inspire and give back to others. 

Read it again, and again.

Our examples of happiness, kindness, gratitude and positivity are enough to inspire action in others to better their lives, their health, and their happiness. We are not selfish for having desires; desire is essential for growth. We need desire, it is what keeps us evolving, it is the birth of all things we experience in our reality.
Being abundant, whether it to be in joy, finances, health, time or possessions, is the most selfless thing that we can do. By filling up our cup and tending to our own gardens first, we allow ourselves to show up in the world as the best possible versions of ourselves. The goal is to be so full of love, joy, kindness and gratitude for our lives, that it overflows, spilling onto those around us so that we may shower them with all of the love, generosity, time, care and service that we can. When we have more, we have more to give and share with others. We are able to lift others up, and inspire. And so we see that it is in no way selfish to desire. If achieving your goals fills you up with so much joy and gratitude that you can go about your day spreading joy and service to others, then can you see that you are absolutely worthy of receiving.
Because in your receiving, you are able to give back to others, and giving back is really is the most important part of manifestation.

When we realise that giving to ourselves is the best way that we can be of service to others, we can feel empowered. We owe it to ourselves, and others, to take back the power and release ourselves from feelings of unworthiness. When you start to really believe that you are worthy, you invite all that you desire to flow into existence, and you can begin living the life that you want, and deserve.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

• Marianne Williamson: A Return to Love: Reflections on the principles of “A Course In Miracles”

Why Your Habits and Routines Are Essential for Growth

Our habits are what shape our identity. They are what have got us to where we are, and they are essentially who we become. Around 40% of our daily lives are lived out of habit, whether we are aware of these habits or not. Take a second to think about a typical day in your life. What habits can you identify, and what do they say about you? How do you approach your day, your health, your attitude, your mindset?

The most important question we can ask ourselves when we are ready to up-level our lives, is “Do my habits align with my goals?” and “Do my habits support the life I want to create?” How you show up for yourself every day becomes how you show up for your life, and determines what will show up for you in your life.

Our habits set us up for what we experience in our lives. Think of the person you aspire to become, the person living the life that you want to be living, or your higher self. What does this person’s habits look like? When you wake up in the morning, do you hit the snooze button 6 times, rush out of bed, tooth brush hanging out of your mouth as you hurriedly pull up your trousers, grab your bag and a dry piece of toast, and rush out of the door ready to be inevitably late for your day? In the car you are weaving in and out of traffic, panicking about your upcoming work agenda, or getting the kids to school on time, thinking “Oh no, did I pack the lunches!?”

Or

Do you set an early alarm, choosing to rise with purpose and intention for the day? Starting the day with a mediation or visualisation, journaling, moving your body, and having time to prepare a healthy breakfast. Helping the kids get ready for their day, enjoying these moments while they’re still young. Or sitting down with a book that inspires and motivates you. Having the time to give your house a tidy so that you may return home to a calm space, ready to later finish your day with your set of evening routines. 

What separates these two is not a question of right or wrong, but it’s a question of intention. What is it you want for your life? Our highest purpose in life is to inspire and give back to others, and the best way that we can do that is by filling our cup first so that we may give the best of our selves to others; our kindness, joy, love, generosity. When we live our days with intention and purpose, we set ourselves up to be the happiest versions of ourselves, feeling calm and organised and able to overcome any obstacles that come our way. When we live in an unconscious state of creation, we leave our lives up to chance. Our habits and routines are what give us back the control and allow us to determine the direction and course of our lives. The choice is ours.  

So, ask yourself honestly, what do your habits say about you?