How You Talk to Yourself, Matters.

Self talk is the internal narrative that we tell about ourselves. It is the inner dialogue that shapes the ideas and beliefs that we hold on to about ourselves. Have you ever really thought about the things that you say to yourself? Not listened, not witnessed, but really thought. What is it that you are telling yourself? What is it that you are believing about yourself? Then ask, two of the most important questions you can ask of yourself;

Is my self-talk empowering, or destroying me?

Would I say these things to somebody else I care about?

Often we reserve our love, encouragement, support, and belief for others. We watch closely the lives of others, and we form our own judgements and assessments on these people, based on our own reflections of ourselves. Are you jealous of somebody? Inspired? Angered? Any reaction that is sparked in us from another is truly a reflection of our inner most thoughts, feelings and desires. And what brings us to these thoughts, feelings and desires? What is it that encourages or destroys these desires, these feelings? Our self-talk. We often see in others the things that we lack or desire for ourselves, and this can be either a blessing; inspiring change, motivation, ideas, actions – or a curse; sending us into a spiral of self criticism, dwelling on all of the things that we don’t have and justifying all of the excuses we tell ourselves for why we don’t have them.

Here is where our self-talk comes into play. Think about it – you wake up in the morning with the attitude that life is hard; I promise you, you’re day will be reflected to you in that way. You will be stuck in traffic, or late, or spill your coffee, you’ll have disagreements with others and things will get to you. Or, you wake up with a sense of joy, gratitude, love and commitment, and your day will be reflected back to you in this way. You might still get stuck in traffic, you might still spill your coffee, someone may disagree with you, but it won’t bother you.

Its the same with our self-talk. Whatever you tell yourself over and over again is what you will inevitably believe about yourself. If there is something that you want, that seems hard, or out of reach, and you justify its elusiveness by telling yourself “I am too lazy, I am too dumb, I am too unqualified, I am too broke, I don’t have the time, I don’t have the connections, I wouldn’t know how”… Well guess what: You never will.

If you flip the narrative however, things change. While it might be true, right now in this moment, you might not have the time. But you’ll make it. “I am creating time” is more powerful than “I don’t have it.” You’ll prioritise; you’ll wake up earlier, you’ll take small, consistent steps, you’ll time block. You’ll make it work. You might not know how, but if you believe and commit, putting one foot in front of the other, you’ll be further than you were than if you hadn’t started. And in time, the way will be shown to you.

It can feel unnatural to lie to ourselves. If you are broke, telling yourself “I am rich” can feel unauthentic. So flip it and tell yourself, “I am open to receiving financial abundance. I am committed. I am resourceful. I take inspired action toward my goals.” Whatever it might be that feels authentic to you is a step in the right direction.

Our limiting negative self talk is a sentence. We are imprisoned by it. You tell yourself “I am broke”, that’s it; you make it so. You tell yourself “I am in control of my financial choices”; you just gave yourself the key. It is open ended. It is full of possibility. Your words, your choices, and your actions are your freedom.

Empower yourself with your thoughts. Give yourself the same love, belief support, and encouragement that you give to the people that you love. Ultimately, you are the most important person to you. You are the only one that has control over you. We are thinking, feeling beings, and our external lives reflect our internal voices. Give yourself the power to believe in yourself. Living in growth, hope, faith, knowing and expansion, is more fulfilling than resigning yourself to the negative lies that you have been telling about yourself.

It can feel safe, and comfortable, to stay where you are. There is comfort in what you know, its what you’ve always known, its what you’ve always done, and what you’ve always counted on. It can feel easier to remain comfortable where you are, than to step into the discomfort of change, commitment, and effort. But remember, nothing worth having ever came from within your comfort zone.

Change your inner dialogue, and you’ll re-write your narrative.